CARY ANN ROSKO, LMFT
Working With Me
Deeply attuned online therapy for adults in California who are tired of figuring it out alone.
Hi, I'm Cary. And I've been a trusted listener my entire life.
People have confided in me since I was young. Back then, I didn’t always know why other kids shared their troubles with me, but I did my best to listen and I could see that it made them feel better. Adults told me I should be a counselor, but I drew away from what at the time sounded like a big responsibility. Still, I was glad I could be there for others and I spent my earlier years organically and intuitively cultivating deep friendships.
Fast-forward to my late 20’s when I first came to therapy as a client. I started reckoning with my own codependency and complex trauma, and I learned how to face and feel what I couldn’t when I was younger. With the skillful guidance of my therapist, I started to work through the unconscious protections and strategies that had kept me tangled up internally and in my relationships. I began to feel more clear, more ease—more myself.
“I began to feel more clear, more ease—more myself.”
When I was in my 30’s, I had a string of experiences and epiphanies that pointed me unambiguously toward becoming a therapist. So back to school and training I went, and it’s been a fascinating and transformative ride. I feel humbled and honored (no, really!) to be invited into people’s lives, and it’s incredibly rewarding to help people find healing and become more of who they want to be.
More recently, I’ve more fully recognized my neurodivergence as an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and as someone designated as gifted in early childhood. The words “sensitive” and “gifted” come with a lot of baggage, but having this particular body and brain have unmistakably shaped my emotional, psychological, and social development from the beginning. Embracing these ways of being has freed me to celebrate and take care of myself so that I can more fully enjoy life, and I love supporting other neurodivergent folks as they come to know the challenges and joys of their own unique brains and bodies.
I also balance my psychotherapy practice with my first career in theatre. I’m a classically-trained singer and hold two degrees in voice, and I perform opera, light opera, musical theatre, and plays on stages around the Bay Area. These two passions and disciplines complement each other surprisingly well! Each informs the work I do in the other, as both require deep empathy, embodiment, and the willingness to be vulnerable.
Beyond that, I’m also a big fan of learning, hiking, quality TV, travel, and generally being a nerd. I’ve lived in San Francisco and the Bay Area for over 25 years but my roots are in the Midwest with a stint on the east coast in between. I don’t currently have any pets but I love seeing yours, so they’re always welcome in session!
The Practical Details
PRONOUNS
She, Her, Hers
AFFIRMING CARE
LGBTQIA+ & Neurodiversity-Affirming
EDUCATION
MA, California Institute of Integral Studies
LICENSE
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
YEARS IN PRACTICE
14 Years
SESSION LENGTH
50-minute sessions
INVESTMENT
$250 / session
INSURANCE
Out of Network, Superbills Provided
PAYMENTS ACCEPTED
Visa, MC, Discover, AmEx, and HSA/FSA cards
Certificate from CA Assn of Marriage and Family Therapists · IFS Trained Therapist – Level 1 · EMDRIA-Trained EMDR and Flash Technique · Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP) · Janina Fisher: Working with the Neurobiological Legacy of Trauma · Hakomi: Essential Skills and Healing of Trauma · Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: A Body-Oriented Approach to Trauma · Kathleen Miller: EMDR and Structural Dissociation Theory · Deirdre Fay: Becoming Safely Embodied
WORKING WITH ME
Your Patterns Developed for a Reason
I provide a space to work with the parts of you that have been trying to help, even when it doesn’t feel that way.
But what does that actually mean?
When confronted with a stressful, challenging, or dangerous situation, our bodies and minds reach for any strategy to deal with it. And if it works—if we survive that situation—we’ll unconsciously repeat that strategy again and again, even if it leads to more suffering. These are complex responses that show up in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and in your body and nervous system as well. As such, they require more than just insight or intellectual understanding to resolve. The work I do is focused on untangling these complex responses so you can process them on multiple levels and heal what’s lingering in your system.
In other words, we’ll look at the patterns and responses that may be causing problems now while getting curious about why they developed in the first place.
Understanding 'why' is only part of the work.
The goal isn’t just to understand your patterns intellectually, but to notice and work with them as they’re actually unfolding. We’ll pay attention to what’s happening underneath the talking: the tension in your shoulders when a topic gets close, the impulse to pull away, or what your body seems to know before your mind has quite caught up.
I ask questions that go somewhere, I’ll point out when something doesn’t quite add up, and I’ll bring in a pattern from two sessions ago if that’s where I see the thread connecting. You can expect curiosity, room for humor, and a fair amount of directness.
Our work has the best chance of being successful if you’re curious, self-reflective, open to experimenting with new things, and ready for change. You don’t have to know how to fix what’s troubling you (if you did, I’m sure you would have already!), but a willingness to engage in the process and commitment to growth are invaluable and will enhance our work together.
I take a holistic approach, which means I’m interested in all aspects of your wellness. I’m a neurodiversity-affirming therapist, so we can check and see if any particular neurodivergence is playing into what you’re experiencing and how our work can support your unique brain. I also know that context, cultural background, and relationship with systemic power all have tremendous bearing on your health, so we’ll look at those, too.
In our work together, I might draw from several different approaches, weaving them together based on what’s actually useful for you.
- Internal Family Systems (IFS)
- EMDR & the Flash Technique
- Somatic Psychotherapy
- Mindfulness
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Neuroscience
- Attachment Theory
Ways I Can Help
01
Anxiety & Trauma
You’ve probably developed some very effective ways of managing. The problem is they’re starting to cost more than they used to. We get underneath the patterns, not just around them.
02
High-achievers
You’re excellent at what you do. You’re also exhausted by it in ways that are harder to explain than they should be. The tools that got you here are not broken—they just were not built for this.
03
Neurodivergence
If you’ve spent your life being told you think too much, feel too much, or don’t quite fit the way others expect you to, you’re in the right place.
Ready to find out if this is a fit?
A consultation isn’t a commitment; it’s a conversation. Twenty minutes is usually enough for both of us to get a sense of whether this could be a good match.